What Do I Do

It's 1.46am in the morning and I am still awake..my sisters are all here at home and they're sleeping like babies. We had a great day with mummy and everyone around. We haven't been spending time together for a while, so I guess they are all tired from shopping and talking about everything non-stop. I'm glad that my sisters are still my best friends that I could never replace with anything in this world.

I had a good week and I finished reading Swan Adamson's book in three days. I had a good time with friends but I guess I was having a hard time accepting new relationships..and I was thinking lot. I don't usually tell anyone about what I personally feel about myself or my feelings, so I wrote them down without wanting to know the answers..

What do I do..
When the sun stops shining?
When the stars stop sparkling?
When the rain stops pouring?

What do I do..
When the wind stops blowing?
When the river stops flowing?
When the flowers stop blooming?

What do I do..
When the lights go out?
When the skies turn dark?
When the love life gets hard...?

Begging Not to Break Apart

I wasn't in the mood to write anything lately and I've been trying to deal with the atmosphere fairly, but I got tensed and confused psychologically. Fortunately I am still alive and still secure..and I'm not going insane thinking about all the small things happened in life. I was lost in confusion, and I'm glad that it inspired me to write again...

They called me lovely
They called me miss pretty
They said that I'm crazy
That I love being naughty

They look at me like I'm a swinger
In their mind I'm a fabulous player
They think that I'm a heart-breaker
That I'll always be one now till forever

They never know that I have always tried
All my best to be everyone's sweetheart
And deep down inside I silently cried
Begging for my soul not to break apart

('Breaking Apart' by Marquise de Ville, Feb 2009)

Knocked Off By Daddy

It's 1am in the morning and I just got into the bedroom to get online before counting the sheep. Daddy was using the PC while I watched The Grammy's and I just loved this year's award. Most of all the presenters and performers rocked the night out. I have always loved Boyz II Men and they worked it with Justin Timberlake and Al Green. Jennifer Hudson was also great and her voice really blew me away. I was impressed with Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus' collaboration. I didn't know that Hannah Montana could sing country songs live on air and I was stunned by Katie Perry's look on the red carpet! Gosh, she really looked kissable with her baby pink lipstick.. yummy!

Nothing interesting happened today as I didn't go anywhere and stayed at home for the rest of the day watching TV. Oh,yes..daddy broke the bed yesterday while I was sleeping because he was so happy trying to wake me up from sleeping in the morning by jumping on the bed! And it's my brother's bed..lucky me! My dad was jumping and rolling on the bed while I was still dreaming and suddenly 'Bang!' and I woke up with my head on the pillow but my body flipped down a bit because the bones (or whatever they call it) that were supposed to support the mattress were cracked..and guess what? My dad just smiled when he saw me awoke and he went out of the room to have breakfast, leaving me subconsciously confused and clueless. Well, my mom helped me fixed it last night before I went to bed and she was begging my dad not to play around with breakable things in the house as he's not that 'fit and slim' like he was before hahahaha..thanks, Mom!

Well, people..I think I need to start counting the sheep to go to sleep since I have to wake up early tomorrow so that daddy won't come into the room trying to wake me with his creative strategies. I don't want to get knocked off in bed one more time. Enjoy reading and have a good day!

Save It For Another Day

I'm the textbook definition of a rebel

I see the crumble over left and I've gotta go right
I'm always in some trouble
To me life ain't fun unless you're in a good fight
So the more you're good to me
The more I try to get you to leave

All my life I've made excuses
Pushing you away, saying that you're not for me
All my life I ran from you, babe
I tried everything
In the end it was you

All I wanna do is have a good time
Let the beat go through me and just take me away
You've been trying to get with me for a while
And I've been telling you to save that for another day
So the more you're good to me
The more I try to get you to leave

(from 'In The End', sung by Kat De Luna)

This is my second post for the month of Valentine..and I am still sick but I can't force my eyes to sleep for my head is still thinking about this one song from Kat De Luna which meant so much to me (because it really is about 'me'). I've been enjoying my life so much and I've been running from relationships since years as I am so concern about not to get hurt and to break anyone's heart. And I am glad that I have chosen to live my life like this..cherishing every moment with friends and family and never think twice about all the adventures and fun we have together. But lately there's a voice deep inside me whispering about a little feeling that I have far inside my heart which I am not sure what it is all about. It- the voice - keeps on saying that the place that I had long ago closed and sealed for any feelings or relationships is eagerly wanting to be filled with something that I can't even describe..whatever it is, I hope it won't hurt me in any way and I am truly happy and content that I have managed to keep the key to my heart safely in my own hands. Just to let you all know about the inner voice and also my struggling with the feeling..if it has anything to do with the word 'Love' then, I prefer to save it for another day..

By Your Side

Hello again people! I know I've promised to continue the story of my shopping journey, but I don't really have time to upload and resize all the photos, but I will update about it soon. Just for now, I present you another piece of my free writings that I wrote this morning..

I will hear your cries
I will hold you tight
I will wipe your tears
and I will make it right

I will heal your pain
I will seal your veins
I'll be there when it rains
'cos I never want to see you hurt again

I'll stop your sorrow
I'll replace with light
I promise you a better tomorrow
and I'll always be by your side


('By Your Side' by Marquise de Ville, 2009)

Shopping Heaven

Hey people! It feels like a long time since I updated my previous post. I had such a great time shopping and chilling in Bandung! I miss the place and I miss everything in the city, unfortunately I spent all the money I had and our train ticket to Jogja was already bought by my cousin. So we had to rush back to Jogjakarta after three days in the shopping heaven. I am definitely going back to Bandung again!!! Seriously, people..it is a real heaven for shopaholics who look for the best quality with the cheapest price. We stayed in Hotel Anggerik in Jalan Riau-where all the great factory outlets are located along the street. The recommended outlets are The Summit, The Secret, Heritage and For Men. There are more stores but those that I listed here have the best clothings that are much more expensive in Malaysia. They have Abercrombie & Fitch, Zara, MNG, FCUK, Arizona USA, Calvin Klein and more. I bought a knitted thigh-length three-quarter sleeves A&F shirt for Rp89,000 which means RM24.oo! Oh, wait! I bought two!! And the weather in Bandung is so breezy. The temperature in the city is 22-24 degree celcius and local people are really nice and soft-spoken. We had no problem with the food as the majority in the city is Sundanese people. I can't upload the photos now because the connection here is really slow and I'm having a problem with my memory card reader. (I'm using my cousin's laptop in her room). Okay, I'll continue later because we're going to shop for Javanese batik for others in the family. Til then, have a nice day!

Backpacking Bimbo

It's been a while since I posted my last story and poem here. I've been busy with my workout routine and I was trying to write a poem with a happy ending but it was so hard than writing the dark ones.. I guess because sadness and devastation are so difficult to be forgotten in life even though we've moved on. Speaking about moving on in life, I still have two more days before my vacation to Jogjakarta and Bandung on Sunday, but I haven't packed anything yet. Well, it's supposed to be a backpacking vacation, so I think I'll be packing on Sunday morning before I leave..unless I get pushed by my sister and aunt who are so eager and ready with their backpacks and empty luggage bags that they reserve in case we over-shop in Bandung.

Okay, the thing with the vacation is that one: I'm broke and I don't even know if daddy will be so generous to support everything for her unemployed-jobless-spoiled-needy daughter; two: I am so hygienic and bitchy that I bring my big toiletries bag with my hand sanitizer everywhere I go (backpacking pulak mesti la duk hostel ke motel!); and three: I have daddy's Chinese tongue that can't eat spicy food in which I know Indonesian food are so hot and spicy especially the penyek chicken-thingy. I can't afford to be having tummy ache while traveling by train, and the first class train from Jogjakarta to Bandung only provides seats without beds! Oh, did I mention about the journey? It's an 8-hour train ride and I hope the train doesn't stuck somewhere and take hours to be fixed (mau kematu dibuatnya duduk lama2).

Well, I don't want to worry much now (I'm lying-I'm still so freaked out about the condition of the train and the pickpockets). I have to deal with it no matter what. Dad and Mom won't be around to do things so I need to focus on my shopping excitement which is still not showing up. Come on, get excited! Duh! My eyes are shutting down now, tired from thinking about my unplanned holiday trip in two days time. This will be my first time being a backpacker even though I've been on road trips and breakaways to the islands before. I hope it will be great like my other vacations. I guess this is all for now. I'll try to update more with my upcoming trip with fun and exciting stories. Til then, thanks for reading =)




(Quarter of my compulsory always-bring-wherever things hehe)