Jun 29, 2009

Too Late To Escape

In every corner of the world music fans are still crying in sorrow. All the daily news are reporting about the unanswered tragic death of the King of Pop. As for me, this few days of holiday miles apart from my other half makes me think of how to survive when it hurts to be missing the moments spent since the year started. I am myself confused with many questions in my head about my future plans, my job, my family and my distance relationship. The first few days staying apart really killed and it doesn't sound promising to be living happily for the days or months to come. But that's the fact that we have to face and I am really concern about the change of behaviour and mood swing that I am facing at the moment. People might say the tougher the challenge is, the stronger your love will be. But I can't help from thinking how are you going to be tough or strong without your other half around and how are you going to be okay if he or she cannot make it when you need him or her to be there through thick and thin? It's not that I don't try to make it work or fix it, the more I try the more it hurts because nobody enjoys the journey alone. When I tried to convince myself that I can do everything by myself, I realised that there is nothing that I want to do than being stuck with him and the bond is already too strong to be broken. And no matter how deep I get hurt or how far I get lost in my own world, I won't give it up. How am I going to do about it? I guess I can't never get the answer because I do- with all my heart...love him.

Don't know how we got this far
So attached now and this gets me
Like a thief you stole my heart
And I fallen in love so unfairly
Boy I hate that my
World revolves around you
And I hate my heart
Cause it hurts without you

Why, why am I so lost in you?
And I don't even know me anymore
Why, I don't know why I'm so confused
Cause I'm hating that I love you this much boy
I'm Confused

You gave me goosebumps, every time
My heart skips a beat when you touch me
I'm so mesmerized
Who told you, you could be mine?
I'm mad at you for this nice surprise

I think I hate you, yes I hate you
Wait, I love you, I love you
I'm really so confused,
I love you, yes I do

('Love Confusion' by Kat DeLuna)

Far Apart

June is almost over and I just noticed that I haven't updated my blog for over a month! I was pretty busy being an unofficial planner for my boyfriend's brother for his engagement ceremony. They asked me to help them out with the decoration for all the gifts that they were going to give to the bride-to-be which we called hantaran here in Malaysia. It was a pretty busy time for me as I was juggling work and time to be spent with my boyfriend before he starts his semester hundred miles away next month. His family invited me to the engagement ceremony and I had a great time doing all the last-minute touch-ups to the gifts and decorations together with the family. We had a good time going to the beach and spent every minute we had with jokes and conversations and I felt relieved that they are really nice and welcoming. The event went pretty well and our hantaran really stunned everyone in the house, so I guess my friends and family were right when they told me that I should be a wedding planner and start a real business. Well, I'll think about it.

The ring was placed around the bird's head
(That was not the real ring, we were trying it out)

All the five beautifully decorated presents from our side
(From top right: Silk, Chocolate Cake, Fruits and
on the left from top: Tepak sireh and The Engagement Ring)

Oh, I was so freaking happy when my girlfriends called me up to stay at my place so that we could watch a movie together and we were so like 'Spice Girls' going out watching Hannah Montana The Movie in Cineleisure. I drove with a CD of Britney Spears' songs played in my CD player with my girlfriends singing along and we were heading to watch Miley Cyrus in action! We were so happy to be like the stars in Gossip Girl or Crossroads (and I swear my boyfriend will hate me if he saw me with that girly attitude) hahaha..

Well, the movie was really good. Although it was a simple movie with a simple story line, it really inspires and motivates those with hopes and dreams. As for me, it really t
ouched my heart to see how people sacrifice everything they have to achieve something that they are not sure if they can have it, but at least they try and they never give it up until they get what they want. And that thought makes me think about my future plans..which..I can't really describe here..yet.

Before I forget, there were a lot of news breaking up in the media lately and the death of the one and only King of Pop really leaves an impact to the whole world. People all over the universe are mourning about the death and I really do feel sad that he died in shock when the world still needs h
im around. I have always admired his music and dancing since I learned how to read. I love all of his songs and there won't be another Michael Jackson anymore. He will always be there...though far apart..he will always be in our hearts..