Oct 9, 2015

Expect the Unexpected

I was supposed to start a 10-months training for the government service but my body was not feeling so well that my blood pressure was not normal and with all the wedding preparation and the chaos that came with it, I realised I needed a break at least to settle down for a few months before scribbling my life back as a wife later. And like how one storm leads to another, the office was having some issues that they needed to freeze my leave application, my honeymoon leave! So yes I decided to quit on the spot. I needed a week break that I deserved after all the hard work I had put through. Besides, I could not risk everything my parents and family had prepared for and yes I left a week before the wedding. So I had that one option left; the training.

So when we got married in May and left to Europe for our honeymoon, we talked about the next step as I had to leave for the training for the whole 10 months, being apart was the last thing I wanted to do after getting hitched. I would not mind doing it if I was still single though. And one of the rules for the training was not getting pregnant though out, so that was another big point to be considered after getting married.

We did not plan our pregnancy, we thought we wanted to just let things go with the flow, and with all the moving and settling from husband's home to ours, we discussed and I decided to decline the training offer that I already had signed up for. I knew my family would be devastated but I did what I had to do to start my own little life. Husband was being very supportive he said I had all the time to think what I want to do next and he will always be there for me. (of course, he does not have any other choice after marrying me, does he? ;p). He likes having someone to cook his dinner when he gets back to work. So while I planned my next move, I started driving him to and from work everyday.

And there we went after a few weeks, with myself attending a few interviews here and there, getting blurry two lines showing on our pregnancy test kit. So we went for a checkup at a clinic and there it was, a tiny little thing looking like a peanut in my womb. It was like a blessing in disguise, despite my current unemployed situation. It was already tough to get a job in our bad economy, and now with the pregnancy news, for some organisations it would be just a no-no (though all says no to discrimination). They would not risk hiring a pregnant lady just to get her to get paid while she gets on leave.

Anyway, another news came after a week..the commissioner of the training programme contacted saying that they have put my name in the next training programme so I could consider to join after my delivery next year. I was overwhelmed by the fact that I had to leave the baby later but at that moment, I thought at least I had a financial backup for the baby if anything went upside down. Just in case. But still, leaving an infant and missing his/her tiny milestones for the first year? That does not sound very motherly to me. It was like going back to my childhood staying with my grandparents not knowing my father who was in the military.

At that moment I thought I would give up everything because all I ever wanted was to be a stay-at-home mother to my children. But I had to think all over again with the current economy and all the expenses the children would need later. My husband had been wonderful and generous, but of course I would love to contribute and get him some fancy stuff out from my own pocket like I used to.

So what happened after getting heavier with the tiny peanut now a size of a papaya.. I remain a housewife. I did get a number of successful calls but the moment they knew I would be taking a 3-months maternity leave soon, they changed their mind saying 'oh sorry, we do not want to risk your pregnancy with workloads, with outstation tasks, yadaa yadaaa..'. Some even told me I am over-qualified with my master's degree. So husband told me to just take things easy, it is his responsibility anyway. He told me not to think much, he would provide the best he could for his little family. He told me to stop looking for a job and concentrate on taking care of my health and the baby so I could deliver smoothly in a few months time.

You know, it is not all about money or materials that I am worried about, I just feel like I am so not used to asking someone to do things, you know with all those cute tiny stuff for babies, which I think I would have been spending all my salary on them if I still had a job. It is a relief for my husband that I do not spend much for him anymore, how could I? LOL. But so far, with the tiny angel growing inside, we managed to get all essential supplements, attended all check-ups, some unexpected gifts came from our families, husband got promoted and many other blessings that we could never thank of.

So yes, things are not always what they seem. Just believe in His big plans. There is always a reason in every test. Keep praying for the best.

Tiny peanut at 6 weeks ;)

Sep 8, 2015

Life As We Know It

It's been two years, life has been going on like a wheel with bumpy rides and great laughs in between. I have never been so content in life, well at least 80% content, with 20% mixed feelings. I have left, travelled, returned and loved. I have been here and there, tried a little bit of every thing I wanted and I am pretty much happy that I survived these past two years with, flying colours.

So where do I start after so many years.. Europe travels, Masters Degree, love life, cat adoption or marriage? Okay let's see..I married the one who came in my life years ago, this year. It was not a smooth sweet like candy love story. It was rather a bumpy nightmare but we managed to fall back into each other's arms. That is what love all about, we think. I will write about that later.

Anyway, say Hi to my not-so-little feline pet, Louie. I wanted to name it Darcy as in Mr. Darcy in Bridget Jones' Diary, but the moment it came into my life, the first thing it ran into was a Louis Vuitton Neverfull MM, so I called it little Louie. A male cat with a good taste, well everyone who knew me went like, 'Why a cat, now?' and 'Are you mad?' when I decided to adopt a cat back in 2014. I used to be one of the girls who would scream her lungs out seeing a cat somewhere. I would not even touch or get near to one even at a relative or a friend's house.

Things changed. I realised I wanted a loyal companion to love and to hold after so many break ups and frustrations in life. And I can never express how grateful I am now. Louie has been nothing but amazing to me and the whole family. It gave me courage to face things and challenges in life. I thank God for creating such a wonderful creature for humans to adore. As for now, Hello 2015!


Aug 1, 2014

Viva La Vida; Trip To Spain

Ola! Now that I am back on blogger, I will start the chapter of my long-lost travelling tale back in 2012 visiting Spain while I was on spring break during studies in London. Friends flew from Malaysia to visit me in London and we went for a short visit in Manchester so they could see Old Trafford with their own eyes, and left to board a budget flight to Madrid. It was a very short visit to Madrid but we had our memorable Spanish experience during the four-days-three-nights trip.

Why Madrid? Because we came across a promotion ad online and the flight ticket was only £35 per person and we had never been to Spain before. We basically chose the best budget hotel that we could on websites, as we were not into backpacking but still wanted to stay on our tight budget. We love snapping OOTDs, so backpacking was not an option. We found the hotel on RyanAir website too and the deal was quite interesting. So we took the bus to Manchester from London so we could board a cheap flight to Madrid two days after. It was uncomfortable of course, but it was not that bad. After all, the journey only took us less than three hours. It was okay.

So we took the train from Madrid Airport to the city, where our hotel was located. The journey took us in about half an hour from the airport underground and we got to the nearest station, Puerta Del Sol, where our hotel was located just a few steps away! It was quite a relief knowing that our cheap accommodation was so conveniently located at one of the famous attractions. As it was already midnight, we decided to just unpack and go to bed so we could spend the next day exploring the attractions.

We woke up the next morning feeling so hungry and we walked from the hotel looking around without any preferences, and we saw a very cosy cafe just opposite the hotel building with the main sign that we could understand; 2 euros! Lol! We straight away went across the street and looked the big menu displayed outside the cafe with photos of breakfast meals including a hot drink for 2 euros! It was a cosy little cafe with furry white fluffy cushions on the chairs and the price was 2 euros?! We went in and started ordering the main thing we had in mind, churros! We were hungry but since the price was not that bad we figured we could order more later.

The first place we went after breakfast was Plaza Mayor as it was the closest landmark we could see on the map, walking-distance from the cafe. It was early in the morning so it was not crowded, people were cleaning and started arranging chairs at outdoor cafes at the plaza. We were stunned by the architecture of that rectangle-shaped building. We came from an entrance and realised there were nine entrances to the plaza. It was a place for various cultural events at present, so we could not imagine the time when it was once a place for public execution back in history. So we snapped a few photos of the plaza and of course, our outfit of the day before walking out from Plaza Mayor.

*post to be continued

Our evening flight with RyanAin
The famous Plaza Mayor
Morning view of Plaza Mayor
from the entrance

Our room in Madrid

Fresh fruits at Mercado de San Miguel
Cheapest breakfast menu at Taberna;
recommended for backpackers
and budget travellers ;)

Reminds me of Central Park in NY
(well I have only seen the park on TV)

Mercado de San Miguel; The market
Seafood paella; The closest Spanish cuisine
 that we get to fried rice

Oct 11, 2013

Love A Joke

They say we shall not take things for granted
Be kind to unfortunate ones and those in need
Never to speak too loud nor to do wrong to others
For we might one day become that one to fall ill

One shall not hate but love; another joke of the century ?

Sep 10, 2013

Figure It Out

“I’m about to make a wild, extreme, and severe relationship rule: THE WORD "BUSY" IS A LOAD OF CRAP AND IS MOST OFTEN USED BY ASSHOLES. The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. Remember: Men are never too busy 
to get what they want.

“And above all, if the guy you’re dating doesn’t seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start “figuring him out,” 
please consider the glorious thought that he might just 
not be that into you."

('He's Just Not That Into You', 2009)

So true.

Aug 4, 2013

Give It All..Up.


when you give up on someone,

it's not because you don't care anymore,

it's because you realise that they don't.

Jul 30, 2013

The Greatest Secret

Often they asked about it
The longer, the conscious they get
Always they frowned like they don't understand
Saying it's absurd, too bizzarre, not a trend
Sometimes I do too, feel like it's unfair
And blame so much that I don't have a pair

Never in life that I meant to forget
That He creates every thing for mankind to pray
What is yet to be happening lies in between
For His possessions to reflect their flaws
To thank Him for every granted breath
And to be loved by Him is the first thing to be dreamed